Monday 14 November 2011

The cast of this epic adventure

The crew – first impressions

Kristy – Aussie tour leader who likes to be called ‘Princess’ and likes to think she’s only 23 or 24. Loves being on the road and has spent many years leading overland trips throughout Africa and South America. Petrified of snakes but not afraid to shake her booty in front of a full restaurant.

Nev – an ex sheep-shearer turned driver & mechanic. Also an Aussie who loves being on the road. Gets confused when driving anything that is not a truck and ends up doing a maximum of 60km per hour on a highway in a Volkswagen Golf.

The gang – first impressions

The single ladies (well whilst on this trip anyway!)

Lee – avid English traveller who has lived in Korea teaching English, on first impression seems “normal”

Johanna – my Irish tent buddy who comes from a small coastal village near Drogheda. As you’d expect of the Irish, she likes a good laugh and a drink (or a few). Excellent at Naked Guess Who, but ranges anywhere from President to Asshole in the Asshole card game.

Amy – Canadian school teacher who does a great rendition of the Bumblebee song: “I’m picking up my baby bumblebee…” There is currently a dispute between how the bumblebee song ends. Andrea thinks you wash and wipe your hands at the end whereas Amy strictly believes you lick your hands. Could be a difference between Canadian regions. Has many ‘rules’ such as she doesn’t eat anything that looks like a tree e.g. broccoli, and nothing that ‘swims in its own poop’ e.g. seafood.

Ivy – down-to-earth American yoga teacher

The single boys

Harry – Melbournian share trader and financial market devotee who does everything TO THE MAX! (He says TO THE MAX at least 30 times per day on a ‘good’ day and only 15 on a ‘bad’ day [he lost his voice]). Has been travelling constantly for the last 5 years and likes J using J smiley J icons J liberally J in J his J emails. J

Dominic – likes the concept of Micronations and may well start the Kingdom of Domania when he gets back to Newy (Newcastle for those overseas readers). Currently in the process of designing his own passport stamp, postage stamp, crest, beer and coronation attire. His national anthem is ‘The Passenger’ by Iggy Pop (Domania is not known for innovation apparently). He is attempting to convert the rest of us to his future cabinet members and would like to impose an alcohol tax where every citizen must bring him a case of beer once a week.

Sonny – wrestled a shark and ripped out its tooth for his necklace (or so the story goes). Looks nothing like his passport photo (which Dominic thinks is feminine!) Despite his passport photo, he does have a ‘Sunny’ disposition. May have difficulty telling the difference between men and women, even when it comes to himself!

Josh – a 21 year old historian setting out on his first overland adventure. Ready to try ‘anything’! And most likely one of the group to go native – already blending in with his Fez and curled-toed leather shoes.

Bruce – a jack of all trades who has been in the army, a postman, a truck driver, and a teacher amongst many other things before he retired. He’s had tattoos of Donald Duck, Pluto, Andi Capp and Yogi Bear on his wrists from the age of 15.

Nadeem – grows his hair to cover his neck for sun protection ‘so he says’, but as a result must look a tad dodgy as he was the only one that was questioned about his parent’s origins by the Moroccan border guards.

(Ethiopian) Steve – the only African who is travelling with us on our Trans Africa trip. So far relatively quiet.

Hayden – a well-travelled Englishman from Stockport who likes sitting around campfires in board shorts with socks pulled up to his knees. Master fire stoker (mostly because he loves his tea).

Ron – just joined the trip in Fez. A married Scotsman who fits in between half an hour to 45 minutes of yoga every morning. Seems relatively at peace, potentially as a result of this.

The couples

Garrett – has a little too much of everything according to Andrea (down to the letters in his name). His defining feature is his eyebrows. Will do ‘anything’ if enough other people will also do it. Not worth competing with in the drinking stakes as he will ALWAYS win. At 6 foot 5, no-one would dare to mess with him, so he also doubles-up as an excellent body guard.

Andrea – has a family background of hiking and loyally follows her husband Gerrett, doing what he wants(!) Has a sun hat that Harry would describe as being ‘TO THE MAX’.

(Kiwi) Steve – he plays along with the all kiwi sheep jokes as he says it’s just easier that way!

Katie – married to Steve. Excellent with masking tape particularly during a game of wizard sticks.

Zach – stylish American who loves beer (so much so that he bought 10 cases of it at our first shop stop!)

Staci – stylish American (so far – let’s wait until the end of the trip!). Partner of Zach.

Graham – an Englishman who I swear sounds Irish. Wears a snorkelling mask when cutting up onions.

Julia – Graham’s Austrian partner who loves the Tudors – both the period and the series. Might have good chats with Josh down the track – a fellow historian.

Shaun – if this Bris-Vegasian drinks pirate rum, he turns into a pirate. Not limited to rum, however, he is happy to drink most beverages particularly ‘wizard sticks’ and when wearing his djellaba, actually looks like a wizard too. Everyone in Morocco calls him ‘Ali Baba’ due to his impressive beard and moustache that he’s been working on for the past 11 months. May be useful as a ‘Santa’ at Christmas time though I doubt many of the women would feel safe sitting on his knee.

Karen – Shaun’s loyal wife, a well-travelled, camping-loving Aussie who refuses to upgrade unless she is on her death bed. Would evidently sit on Shaun’s knee!

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