QUOTE BOOK! (the tame, censored version)

It has been a while since I’ve posted the silly quotes here and here that we’ve collectively recorded (and contributed to) on our trip and there has been an influx of them lately with the new guys. Whilst most of them are sadly too rude to be published, there are still a few good ones in here.

“The inevitable just happened. Pee just landed on my face.” – A certain person who probably doesn’t want to be named after pee splashback incident that Kristy said would happen to us all at some stage

“I don’t mind bugs at all…only when they bite me or try to *censored* me.” – Lee on road to Luanda with tse-tse fly plague – the flies were trying to get into every crevice

“What do you call a collective group of loose cannons? A ship.” – Dan, Swakopmund, Gruner Kranz, Friday night. Say no more.

“That’s a true friend right there. He seasons your noodle.” – Andrea to Ian when Dan gave him some dry 2 minute noodles but ensured to season them first

“Oh wow! He’s quite attractive for a bald man.” – Karen re: her brother in law’s photo in a Fireman’s calendar, oblivious she was sitting next to Nev

“He’d be great for someone who wants a caveman who drinks a lot and loses his thongs.” – Kristy on Nev’s ideal woman

“They aim so high, but settle for so low.” – Amy about the young boys on the trip re: women

“Nev’s a braver man than I. Except I’m not a man...” – my message to Nev on his bungee jumping video

“It was myself and another girl.” – Nev talking to Dom about a trip he went on to which Dom responded “You’re not a girl.”

“I don’t even know why I began to tell that story.” – Nev to Dom, forgetting the ending to his story. “To show your ignorance.” – Dom’s response to Nev

Me “I was bitten by a monkey.”  Tom “And you didn’t get AIDS?”

“It’s probably a step up from the last one.” – Tom to himself on a dog humping his leg

“We may be disease-ridden but we’re good for a laugh.” – Ian in response to Kristy saying what a fun/crazy bunch we are now

“What are these people from Rome called again? Romanians?” – Raf when talking about the TV series, Rome

Kristy “Tom, have you ever been tasered?” Tom “Not yet.”

Kristy re: private girls’ schools “Too many *censored – female body parts* in one room.” Tom “Is that even possible?”

“You haggis eating twat.” – Bruce to Ron re: thinking someone stole his shoes and then finding them in the room where he left them

Me “Since when did it become acceptable to wear pyjama pants to a restaurant?” Josh “About three months ago.” – Me when wearing PJs over shorts to St Elmo’s restaurant in Harare

“You’ve got a great habit of cutting a short story long.” – Bruce to Lee

Ron “Apparently if everybody in China jumped up and down at the same time it’d shake the world.” Amy “That’s why we want them all to be zen and worship Buddha.”

“Josh’s garden parties will never the same because he’ll just peel off 3 feet from the nearest guest and have a pee.” – Andrea

Karen “What’s that look about?” re: Josh making silly face in a drunk night photo. Josh “I don’t know but I really wish I hadn’t shaved as I thought that was Andrea.”