Newbies – first impressions

It’s been a while since I’ve judged everyone (and had everyone judge me), and whilst I need to update everyone’s descriptions, I thought I’d better introduce you to our truck newbies.

In Cape Town, we exchanged some of our truck people. Sadly we lost Katie and Guber, but will pick them up again in Zanzibar. Aside from Kristy and Nev, who haven’t yet deserted us, we’ve kept Sonny, Dan, Jo, Josh, Shaun, Karen, Andrea, Garrett, Lee, Ron, Bruce, Dom and Amy. And with four young boys and a quirky, travel-loving couple joining, the atmosphere has lifted and you can expect a LOT of shenanigans to come… (though they might not be fit for posting on this blog!)

Oli – currently Imperial Emperor of the militant nation of ‘Olistan’ who has so far been defeated in his attempt to overthrow Domania. Clearly egotistical and mad given he too has delusions of grandeur, this 19-year old is surprisingly well-mannered – his mum has done well in training him. But don’t let his baby face and dimples fool you – he has the looks of an angel but the nature of a mischievous imp. Prefers little spoon and has an affinity with bushes.

Raf – this 18-year-old is actually allowed to have delusions of grandeur as he has had a recent brush with fame. Would be greatly more respected should he bring an A-list celebrity on the truck or even just introduce one to the truck society. Despite leaving the trip briefly, the day he returned, he immediately joined the ranks of the loose canons. Also likes bushes.

Ian – probably knows Africa better than the rest of us as he is the only one to have frequented two shacks. Clearly desperate to have a better story than Tom, who unknowingly always does something even crazier than him. Has his buttons demurely done up to his neck and possibly because of this thinks he’s a nice, quiet chap who can dance, but reality would prove otherwise. Became ‘acquainted’ with a C-list Botswanian gospel singing celebrity but is definitely no chaplain himself.

Tom – 19-year-old Admiral of the Ship of Loose Canons who does crazy things when drunk, has a penchant for taking his clothes off and an affinity for mythology, especially ‘Cyclops’. Nearly became a Cyclops himself after a run-in with Pedro, a bull mastiff, although he’d tell anyone that he ‘fell down the stairs’. Outshines everyone else without even trying with his shenanigans from the night before. Also likes shacks as well as bushes.

Chris – left Zimbabwe for England when he was 20. He has an incredible knowledge of the bush, how to make the perfect fire, and is always carving something – fishing rods, walking sticks, palm ivory, etc. Strains his coffee through what looks like an old sock and is more than happy to share it with others. Loves photography and is ready to embrace any crazy thing the old truck society can throw at him. Has introduced many of us to the ‘awkward turtle rowing his awkward way awkwardly through the awkward conversation’.

Caroline – Chris’ partner who is Kiwi but has also been living in England. Always knows how to find Chris – on the top of a mountain, climbing a tree or chasing wild animals. Averse to physical contact but has been put under Garrett’s wing in intensive training with daily hugs. Nevertheless, she’s extremely easy-going even when every cook group (including Chris’) forgets she’s gluten-free and she has to eat rice cakes, again. Has also been known to survive on Pringle sandwiches on 4-day hikes. Squeals with delight when she can play a low card in ‘arsehole’ and has an obsession with warthogs that almost rivals my obsession with squirrels.